Keeping it Real

When I was a kid, I kept wondering if it was possible to have a friend until the end. For instance, you've consciously decided with a stranger to become friends when you were 5 years old and you've remained as such until you died. However, growing up taught me that it is unreal. In life, you really lose some friends along the way. Either you lose touch or simply you lose the person. 

Today, I met up with a friend at the spa. I just realized that we have been friends for 11 years now. He has seen my ups and downs in college. He joined me in my joys each time I receive my commendations each semester and he was with me when my ex- broke up with me. I was there on his graduation. He was there on mine. We celebrated the first time he got a job, as we celebrated too when I got mine. 

In retrospect, I seriously don't know what brought us this far. We have different points of view, came from different backgrounds, with different orientations and principles, yet somehow we were able to see each other through.

I believe that respect is very important. To give attention and deference is important to make the friendship work. Grace is also important. It is true that it is important to give and take. But I think it is also important to be gracious. We simply have to understand the fact that none of us is perfect and that at one point in our lives, one's weaknesses and flaws will surface and we have to be ready to handle it. When that happens, we have to be willing to accept and embrace the reality of it. Grace operates with love. To be able to accept and embrace the shortcomings of one person, one must love the person for who he is. 

I am in awe at how we were able to make it through these years. How we managed to make each other feel secure with our friendship, I do not know. How we make ends meet, I don't know. How one chooses to respond to matters as they come is important to make friendships work. I think ours work because we choose to listen and understand each other even when we do not feel like it. We face issues head on when it arises. We confront the negative issues when we go through it. It helps. There are no clear steps how to make friendships work but here's my unsolicited advice: if you want your friendship to work, be loving and gracious.